The Counselor is the story of… I think it’s about… I’m not quite sure. Well, I can tell you some of the elements. There’s drugs… there’s sex and dirty talk… there’s decadence and there’s killing. There is, however, no story…

Story: Again, there is no story. There’s just scenes strung together. Sometimes randomly. It feels like the writers and producer sat together in a room, shared some scenes they’ve always wanted to put in a movie and put ALL of them in one movie whether they fit together or not.

None of the people are given context. I think the mutual constant between all of the characters is The Counselor, but, i’m not 100% on that either. They attempt to make deals, but, drugs? Guns? Hookers? At some point, cocaine surfaces, but, very briefly. So, let’s call it cocaine…

Performances: I can’t believe the Oscar-level actors in this movie. Penelope Cruz, Javier Bardem, Brad Pitt, Michael Fassbender – even Cameron Diaz. They all read this script and agreed to do this movie? Was it a favor to someone? They all usually do films with substance; This film communicates nothing.

In the end we see that Cameron Diaz’s character, Malkina is the ring leader, but, of whom? There’s a matter of a truck that’s stolen, then stolen back, so, if, “These-are-people-you-don’t-want-to-mess-with” got their truck back, why did they need to kill everyone? And why did they kill The Counselor’s wife/fiance, but not him? He end up being the only one still alive in the end…

This whole damn movie is nothing but one great big question mark…

Visual: It looks like a drug movie. Expensive cars. Expensive Houses. Shiny clothes. Guns. Drugs. Mexico.

Rating: F. This is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. It made no sense, it solved no riddles, it made no point. Even after the fact, I’m processing nothing from it.

I rarely feel that a movie has been a waste of my time. This was a waste of my time. Don’t waste your time. Skip The Counselor.